I think I might have a friend that I often see occasionally in person. As a near complete shut in, this is a fairly unusual thing. I keep in touch with friends on line, but in person not so much. Every human being in my face to face life is paid to be there. My face to face life is doctors, therapists, social workers, apartment management. I might be close to calling a few folk at the gas station my friends. But they are paid to be friendly to me. On the TV show Cheers, were Sammy and Norm friends?
I am not the only one to get confused. Decades ago, my metaphysical shop had a patron named Tony. He was my friend. Tony asked me if he was my friend or customer. I think I told him if I could only pick one, I’d choose friend. He asked why.
“Because you don’t buy shit”
When an economic relationship exists, it can be confusing. But even when an economic relationship does not exist, it is confusing. How do you tell when someone is a friend. In my case, I did what Tony essentially did. I stopped her mid sentence and asked: Did you just say you are my friend? She answered yes. But if you are not weird like Tony and I, you don’t ask. So how do you know? Where is the line between being a friend and being adjacent? How do you know when the line has crossed?
If it were something as simple as romance, the line would be romance itself. Romance has a fairly clear definition. Friendship? Not so much. I have over 2,000 friends on my Facebook. Would you like to be my friend? My Facebook is just as nutty, but you can comment for free.
I think if I were to design social media platform I would use the word adjacent. Using the word friend as does social media kind of detracts from the word.