I am not allowed to use bar soap in the shower. I am not sure why. I think my wife believes I might hurt myself with it. There was a time right after the head injury, where using it made me cry. How sad it was that the bar would dwindle itself for my personal hygiene. So selfish I thought. And while that is a great example of how screwed up emotions can become after brain damage, it is not why I am not allowed to use bar soap today.
It is one of those woman things. Men imagine a bar of soap being automatically clean. Women ask what the last part of your body touched it and wonder what the first part of their body it will touch. The women I have known well enough to use their shower seem to much prefer body wash. Sweet stinky body wash that often smells like food or maybe an alcoholic beverage without the alcohol. Men, or maybe just this man, are a bit reluctant to smell like a pina coloda or coco mango what ever.
What makes this particularly annoying for folk like me is that we do not often read the label. Hair conditioner often feels and smells like body wash when you load it into your hand or onto a wash towel, but it doesn’t have the same effect on skin. Instead of washing off your skin and leaving it feel clean, hair conditioner makes it slick and gives it that furniture scent of its name sake.
Tonight, about half way threw my shower I realized I was bathing with coconut mango hair conditioner. I say about half way finished because i had reached the lower half. Realizing my mistake due to the lack of suds, I reached for another bottle. It came out blue and had a slight tingly feeling. I figured someone had purchased a dandruff shampoo. Oh well, at least shampoo is soap.
After finishing my shower, I realized I had washed with the dogs flea and tick shampoo. So now my butt, my balls, and the taint in between is conditioned, smells like coco mango, and has not a single flea or tick.